Our communication skills as a society are badly broken and there’s only one Person who could fix that.
Jesus is God teaching us what it means to love through word and action.
How did we get here?
THE LIE
How do you talk to yourself?
We have learned to take in what the world has told us about ourselves as truth.
We become fragile
self doubt
always feeling attacked
insecure
vulnerability
If it comes against what God says, it’s a lie.
John 8:44
You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
THE TRUTH
What is the truth about yourself?
We have deep fears of communication because we’re afraid to be seen as weak or dumb.
You are not your feelings.
You are..
a child of God
wonderfully made
more than conquerors
holy
a masterpiece
chosen
redeemed
loved
Philippians 4:6-9
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
PROTECTING THE LIE
How do you protect yourself from healthy expression?
Bad communication is making healthy communication difficult for everyone else.
We have plenty of unhealthy ways to communicate that we’re hurt and scared:
pride - we don’t need help because being seen as weak has allowed others to take advantage of me.
The “tough guy.” - we’ve learned that being tough is a sure fire way to promote creating a community of people who are also afraid to be vulnerable.
threats - we don’t know how to use words for very long, so how about we just cut the opportunity to communicate by threatening pain.
walls - we’ve let people in before and have been hurt. It’s best to put up walls to never let that happen again.
passive aggressiveness - we’re too scared to start a healthy conversation, so we’ll take any power we can get by throwing out small comments that shouldn’t be responded to.
the mexican standoff - we’re open to having a healthy conversation, but I’m too scared to start the conversation because what if I’m the only one who wants a healthy conversation? I don’t want to be seen as weak or stupid.
PROTECTING THE TRUTH
How do you express yourself freely?
Practicing what God says isn’t easy in a world that refuses peace.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
You’ll need strength and faith
strength to stick to the truth that was given
strength to be wrong about assumptions
faith for understanding group
faith for growth
faith for love
Matthew 18:15-17
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
People will tell you if they’re part of the church or not.
This feels like punishment and confrontation because we’re afraid of the reaction.
Matthew 18:18-20
“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
A healthy church is a vulnerable church.
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